I know nothing particularly amazing and exciting is supposed to happen to you when you turn 23, but yet, I can’t wait for this year of 22 to be over. While it feels like just yesterday I was hopping around a bouncy house I rented for my birthday party (it was actually last year, I did that), so much has happened in a year it really hurts my brain to think about all of it. I fell in love, I fell out of love. I graduated college and traveled to Southeast Asia. I moved in with my grandma then moved out to SF. I got a job, then I got a new job. I had an apartment, then I didn’t have an apartment. Then suddenly, I felt the world become still for a moment – before it was flipped upside down again. Crazy when life’s a big bitch, right?
These past few months have knocked me off my feet, and not in a good way. After living with my grandma for two months this summer and having her routinely become such a big part in my life the last four years, I struggle every day with the thought that I will lose her. Not every day does someone get to say their kickass grandma has traveled the world at the ripe age of 86, or that she dreams about Costco hot dogs (they’re kosher) and In n Out milkshakes. It is hard to see an independent and strong-willed individual lose so much so quickly, and cancer is no softie. I have felt helpless at times watching her sick, but raising money is one way I feel like I can make a small difference.
I’m beyond lucky to have all that I have in life. At the end of each day, I know all that matters is that I have a full belly, a bed to sleep in, and people in my life who care about me. I’m constantly reminded of how loved I feel. This whirlwind of the year has been a lot for any one person to handle, and I know I could not do it on my own. For anyone who has dropped what they’re doing to hold me when I’m crying, walk around the block with me, feed me meals, allow me to feed them meals, scratch my back, or send me a card in the mail – you know who you are and I love you.
I don’t need any presents for my birthday, I already have everything I need. I’m ready for 23 to bring on newness – new health, new exciting adventures, new people. Maybe no one likes you when you’re 23, but who cares?